Way back in February I was surfing away in Web Land 'cause I was too far from the beach. I kinda like stream-of-consciousness surfing, though sometimes I use the Web for work related purposes - sometimes I can find the information that I'm looking for hidden behind the zillions of search pages of varying usefulness.
I click on stuff. I'm not scared to be transported to strange places - though it can sometimes be difficult to shut down all the pop up pornography. But that's not important to this story. Last year I clicked on something and won a crappy RC car. It's kinda cool for free and sometimes I even revisit that site. Maybe I'll win a real car, though I'm not sure what I'd do with it.
Anyhow I clicked on a banner that said "You could win $100 instantly!" which I thought was a splendid idea, though somewhat implausible. I won an instant $100 from Lucky Surf! Or did I? I saved away the congratulatory e-mail and wondered if it was real. I read the fine print and I was quite willing to wait the 45 days that it may take for the check to arrive.
Oh yeah the e-mail begins ...
Dear Bruce Ellis:
Congratulations! This email will confirm that you are a winner of $100 in the
LuckySurf.com INSTANT WIN EMAIL GAME, held February 15, 2000. A
check will be mailed the address below, as provided in your LuckySurf.com
registration profile, within 45 days:
Oh yeah I had to register I guess. The address was right and maybe I'd get some Beer money in April. Pig's ass, as my grandmother would say. Finally in June I decided that I might actually try and get the money from them.
Your message was not delivered within 4 days.
Host mail.luckysurf.com is not responding.
Not a good sign. So I visited their site and found a form to fill in to enquire about a cash prize. I got a phone call some days later from some gentleman explaining that he had no idea what had happened to the check and when he found out he would re-issue it. So I waited another month and tried the request form again.
Dear Bruce,
I am looking into this matter. I looked your name up from the winners list and your name is in
the list. I will try to see what happened and why you did not receive your check.
Once I find out what the issue is I will give you a call, Thanks for your patience!
Pig's ass. I never received a call. Never. In fact these days Sara won't even return my e-mails. I did like the excuse about it being due to the huge number of winners in May. Last I heard (24th July) was:
Dear Bruce,
We cannot re-issue your check until the end of this month (today is the
24th), and unfortunately, cannot send your check any sooner than this.
I apologize for this inconvenience, but assure you that you will receive
your check by the end of this month.
Well not only does that make no sense it didn't happen. I have been regularly playing since trying to win something else that I won't get. It's kinda fun, you pick 7 lucky numbers and click on some banner ad that some poor sucker is paying a nickel for or some such price. The web is funny like that - lot's of companies paying each other VC money in an attempt to sustain salaries. This week I did really well at Lucky Surf - I won 3 (count them) $5 gift certificates:
* One coupon per player.
First-time PlanetRx customers only.
So I bought some condoms. What a Lucky Stiff I am. No sign of the $100 though. August 13th, 2000.
Dear Bruce Ellis:
in•stant n. 1. A very short time. -adj. 1. Immediate. 2. Urgent.
INSTANT. That's what this e-mail is all about. And you're just 3 quick
steps from finding out if you've won $400 Cash ... Instantly.
You may only play once for each
drawing session.
The next session is starting on
2000-08-22 15:00 PT.
[legal]
© 2000, Bruce Ellis: brucee@chunder.com, Home.