Stu
Burt, who owns Wanaka's Bullock Bar, in the country's south, has launched the
Perfect Woman competition, which Burt says "is not about beauty and all
that crap, it's just about being themselves".Oct 06 2002 - Now [PREV] [Creepy Eye]
I got busy and/or kinda bored with blogging - but here's some more stuff. Enjoy (or complain).
I maintain that a solid foundation in mathematics is essential to the skill set of a competent computer programmer. Sure you can build programs Lego-style using stuff you don't understand - move the blocks around until it sort-of-works - and what the heck - the bits that don't work don't matter that much 'cause it's Beta! I'm not preaching some holy-war elitist doctrine - what you do in the privacy of your own home is your bidness. It's just I'm surprised at how little Open-Math makes it into Open-Source. Learn some important math and you'll have more fun programming and you'll write cooler stuff.
Here is an off-the-wall math problem. The math involved may not help you write a calendar program but you will find more challenging subproblems to solve in the engineering of any significant software project. (I may get cursed by webfilter-suckers for using a naughty word in the problem.)
An ancient Chinese puzzle found in the sixth century work of the mathematician Chang Ch'iu-chien, called the "hundred fowls" problem, asks:
If a cock is worth five coins, a hen three coins, and three chickens together are worth 1 coin, how many cocks, hens, and chickens, totaling 100, can be bought for 100 coins?
From The Sydney Morning Herald ...
Stu
Burt, who owns Wanaka's Bullock Bar, in the country's south, has launched the
Perfect Woman competition, which Burt says "is not about beauty and all
that crap, it's just about being themselves".
Forget about the tired wet T-shirt concept. Competitors will have to throw a set of curling stones, put a ram into position - for shearing, that is - back a trailer-load of hay and stack it, shave a lathered-up balloon and dig in a fence post.
Other tasks include changing a car tyre, blowing a dog whistle, darning a sock, clearing a pool table as quickly as possible, and using anything other than a bottle opener to whip the top off a stubbie of beer.
The Apple "Switch" ad campaign has become turgid beyond my tolerance. The first few were kinda cute - Boing Boing Mark was particularly animated and entertaining. The current theme seems to be to compare a new Mac to a five year old PC running equally dated Microsoft software. I'm pragmatic about choice of technology and by all means use a Mac if you feel compelled to, but please stop these stupid ads! And what's with the white limbo sets? If I was extolling my preferences in technology use, the backdrop would be a) my office b) my home office c) my lounge room d) a peniche (no particular order).
My favourite (which fortunately I have seen only once) is the "plugging a digital camera into a PC is Hollywood stuff - I'm a cop". [Bruce looks at a PC - I'd plug it in there - the firewire socket like the one on your Mac, officer.]
There should be some Switch ads featuring these real life scenarios ...
Anyone have any OCR software handy?
My text-editor froze today while I was about to save an essay I'd just written. I managed to get a screengrab of the whole article, so I have a TIFF of the text. I just can't bring myself to re-key this; does anyone out there have any OCR software they can run this through? Email me.
[Update: I just saw a "Switch" featuring a very stoned college girl complaining that her PC "ate" half of her essay. Hey - lay of the weed or learn some basics like "undo".]
or
Symptom
1. You insert an audio disc, which is not recognized by the computer.
2. The audio disc will not eject.
3. The computer starts up to a gray screen when the disc is in the optical drive.Magic markers: 1, Copy-protected CDs: 0
Copy-prevented "CD"s may be capable of bringing your Mac to its knees and void your warranty, but you can defeat the world-class "protection" by putting a strip of sticky-tap on the inside ring of the disc, or scratching it out with a magic-marker. I feel more "protected" already.
[sorry Cory]
or maybe "Do you have this software for the Mac?" - my Garmin eTrex Vista would be less interesting if I was a MacHead.
[Update: Why are there so many "Switch" ads on Comedy Central? Can't wait for the South Park parody.]
And what would the world be like without zealots anyway? Legal zealots.
Dude,
I'm Getting Thorazine!
The Dell Dude was on Saturday Night Live tonight (well a parody of him). According to his doctor he has innumerable mental illnesses. And it finished with "Dude, I'm Getting Thorazine!". To me it just appears that he has his vibrating pager attached to the front of his low-riding cargo shorts.
Not that I have any problems with Dell. Score! was composited on a Dell P133 with 48Mb all those years ago - and it still functions as a file server. I'm typing this on a Dell Latitude which has more flyer miles than most humans. And their ads feature their products!
Send me some Dude could-be-quotes and I'll add them to these:
- Dude, my underwear is riding!
- Dude, you are stuck with XP!
- How much do I hate jock itch, Dude!
- Dude, what's going through your mind.
- Where's my stuff, Dude!
It's hard to get Ralph Carrots on a real mailing list - not many humans have such a silly name - but the spamsters love him!
No Xmas decorations before Halloween? Be buggered. I'm gonna trump my neighbours by two weeks. I did this ditty a few years ago on the above mentioned P133 (with Messrs DX & JP) as a gift for dhog after we had been tortured by restaurant Xmas music for far too long. With inspirational thanks to The Residents.
And now the Snotty Scotty and the Hankies Album.
FedSux
I've had bad experiences with FedEx before. Hence they are not my package handler of choice and I actively avoid them. Well my recent bad experience with them was extraordinary. I guess I am just one package to them but I am a dozen packages a week to UPS.
I ordered something on-line and ended up with FedSux SuPer SomeThing without noticing. I kicked myself long and hard, gave money to charity, and stood out in the rain for two hours in deep regret. Then I thought in medicated optimism - "Hey. It's only one package. I won't shoot myself before they've had a chance to screw it up".
I was home the day of expected delivery and eagerly awaiting the arrival of a toy (photographic accessory) I really needed (wanted). I was even checking the TrickWat page far too often. At about 3pm I discovered that the mighty web page reported that my trinket had been delivered to my front door at 2:37pm. "What a crafty FedElf!" me thinks, as I had been but a few feet from the door at the time.
Not so chief. Nothing outside the front door, nothing outside the back door, garage door, anywhere. I was caught bewildered by my neighbour Mikey as I was wandering around aimlessly in the light rain, woefully underdressed in cut-offs and wife-beater. I explained the situation and we agreed that I should change into a dry wife-beater and call FedSux.
Well the Customer Savant rep told me that it was left outside my front door (she can use TrickWat) and immediately went into a "Contact the shipper so that they can fill in a claim" mode. How about trying to find the package - where it was actually left? I live in a very low crime area and I was 100% sure it had not been stolen. She said that the FedElf would return and show me where it was left.
Well to make a far too long story a bit shorter ... after a few days of calls and electronic communication I finally got a call from another Customer Savant rep who assured me that the package had been left between my front door and the screen door and that the FedElf would be back to see me soon. I explained that I didn't have a screen door. She said "Umm Ahh Blah Blah Thank You ... click".
I never did get to talk to a FedElf in person, though that very afternoon a very crafty FedElf dropped off a plane ticket at my door and snuck away. (I'd told the travel agent not to use FedSux. No more business for them!)
I did, however, get the original package - no thanks to FedSux. It was delivered to the wrong street to an honest dude who called me and even delivered it to my door - it would have been silly to deliver it to himself huh?
I'd send a letter to FedSux but it would achieve nothing. They can contact me if they wish to apologize - ha ha.
UpDate: The phone rang yesterday and there was that elusive Tennessee phone number on the Caller-ID. A Customer Savant asked how she could help me with my claim. I explained as calmly as possible the above story, though the sarcasm light kept flashing on my handset. She said that the local FedMgr would call me about the problem. Guess what? No call yet. It's only been two weeks now.
Yesterday was a big day! Ralph Carrots won $1.5 Million in:
WERKEN BIJ DE LOTTO,
41132, NL-1007 DB AMSTERDAM,
THE NETHERLANDS.
Then again - who didn't? Check out your winning numbers at www.werken-bij-delotto.net
and maybe they'll give you a cookie! Flash! I was just reminded
that I did buy more than coffee last time I was in Amsterdam. Maybe I ate the
ticket - a very small ticket. 
The 26th Occasional DooDah Parade - Pasadena - Sunday 24th November 2002.
© 2002, Bruce Ellis: brucee@chunder.com, Home.
